The worst feeling in the world.

To me, it’s knowing the potential of something, but not being able to reach it because of reasons that are in my control.

For example:

  • The potential for me to get straight A*s but not achieving it because of procrastination.
  • The potential for a friendship to blossom but not reaching there because of my social anxiety.
  • The potential for my business to grow at a faster rate but it didn’t because of my fear of failure.

This to me, is the worst feeling in the world. Knowing I’m good enough but being too afraid or lazy or lame to achieve something.

And every time I get that sudden ‘realization’ that this is happening again, I get a surge of energy to change things, get moving and be productive. But it never lasts. Eventually, I fall back to my old habits.

I guess this is all I can share for now.

I just feel like shit sometimes, and that’s okay. (I hope)


Control Room

Y O U   C O N T R O L   Y O U R   O W N   T H O U G H T S .

Did that sentence blow your mind?

I spent a lot of my time ranting to my diary, complaining about how I can’t get my shit together. Crying about how there’s so much pressure on me. And for the first time in my life, I stopped writing, and started reading my past entries. Then, I realized a pattern.

I’m just as fucked up as I was two years ago. I’m just as twisted and negative and messed up as my teenage self. So, even though I’d like to think I’m a lot wiser now, and that I’m a lot more calm and composed and moving towards a better goal, I still fall back to the same trap that always gets to me.

It is a vicious cycle that I have to get out of. and now that I know that

I   C O N T R O L   M Y   O W N   T H O U G H T S ,

I should be able to get myself out of that dark, twisted part of my brain right?


Let’s just see how this goes, shall we?

Hopefully, I’ll keep you posted.

Be Solution-Oriented.

It is easy to talk, to beat around the bush, to rant about something for hours, to complain and to waste time.

It is easy to gossip, spread rumors, to care about unimportant details, and to stick your nose in other people’s lives.

It gives you a sense of belonging. A small and short burst of energy, that makes you feel like you connect with people. It’s a high. It’s an addiction. It’s a waste of your time.

A lot of people spend their time caring too much about things that don’t help them grow. Things that eat their time and energy. Things that would be just fine if it were left alone.

These behaviors should not be encouraged. They don’t reflect happiness, or joy, or gratitude. They mess with the calm and peaceful energy one should obtain.

To be a wise person is to be solution oriented. To be solution oriented is to set a goal, and to communicate that goal to others.

To be solution oriented is to save time, energy and money. To be solution oriented is to be efficient.

Instead of blaming, whining, complaining and feeling down, set a goal.

Figure out what’s the target, why are you spending X amount of time talking about Y to Mr. Z? What is your point? What impact are you trying to make? What do you hope to gain?

Do you want to ask for suggestions? Do you want to just be heard? Do you want to convey a message? Do you want to ask for help? What’s the point?

Always find out what outcome you are hoping to achieve out of the actions that you take.

This way, you will be more efficient and wholesome.